Session 2: The GOOD Mom in My Head - What Happens When We Stop Trying to Be 'Good' (Ahem, Perfect)
Welcome back, or welcome if this is your first time with us. However you made it here today - whether you've been thinking about last week or you're just hoping for something that might help - you're exactly where you need to be.
So yesterday, my kid had a complete meltdown. Twenty minutes of screaming, tears, the whole production. And what was this crisis about? I gave him water in the red cup instead of the blue cup.
And you know what happened immediately in my head? That voice - you know the one - it started its commentary:
"A good mom would have remembered which cup he likes."
"A good mom wouldn't have caused this meltdown over something so preventable."
"A good mom would know how to handle this better."
Within seconds, I went from dealing with a kid's big feelings about a cup to feeling like a complete failure as a mother. Over a cup. A red cup instead of a blue one.
Does that voice sound familiar? The one that has a running commentary on your mothering? The one that somehow always knows exactly what a "good mom" would have done differently?
Today we're going to get curious about that voice. Not fight it, not try to make it go away, but understand it a little better. Because maybe, just maybe, it's not telling you the whole truth.
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Check-In + Brain Dump
Before we go any deeper, let's just notice what's happening in your body right now.
When that inner critic voice shows up - you know, the one with opinions about your mothering - what does that feel like in your body? Maybe your chest gets tight, or your shoulders tense up, or you get that sinking feeling in your stomach.
Just notice, without trying to change anything. What does it feel like when that voice starts its commentary?
Write the beginnings of these sentences and finish them with your very first thought:
When it comes to this voice…
I think I should...
I think I shouldn't...
I would like to...
I do not want to...
I feel...
I'm convinced other people will...
What I really want is…
If I had my way with this voice I would...
If I were honest with others about this voice, they would think that...
If I were really honest with myself about this, I would know that...
The best solution I can think of what it comes to this is...
And when you think about actually looking at this voice instead of just believing everything it says, what comes up?
Maybe relief that someone's finally asking?
Maybe fear about what you might find? All of that makes complete sense.
Guided Visualization: Meeting Your Inner Critic
I want to try something a little different with you today. Instead of fighting with that critical voice or trying to think positive thoughts over it, what if we got curious about it?
What if that voice is actually like a character living in your head - with its own personality, its own backstory, its own reasons for believing what it believes about what makes a "good mom"?
Sometimes when we can see something clearly, it loses some of its power over us. And sometimes when we understand where something came from, we can work with it instead of feeling like we're constantly at war with ourselves.
Your body already knows this voice intimately. Today we're going to let your creativity show you what it looks like.
Before we start, write down what you hope to learn about that critical voice in your head.
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If you're willing, get comfortable and take a few breaths with me. Or just soften your gaze if closing your eyes doesn't feel right.
Close your eyes and take some deep breaths. Notice your chest rising and falling. Keep breathing until you feel settled in your body.
Think about the last time that critical voice showed up. Remember a recent moment when it had opinions about your mothering. Let that memory come back. As you do, notice what happens in your body. Where do you feel this criticism?
Put your attention on those places in your body - maybe your chest feels tight, or your shoulders tense up, or your stomach feels heavy. Imagine what this feeling would look like if it was a picture or shape.
Now move your attention to your heart area. Take your time getting there.
When you can feel your attention resting in your heart, ask for a picture or symbol that shows you how to understand this critical voice with kindness. Something that honors both your love for your kids AND your need to be gentle with yourself.
When you see what that symbol is, gently open your eyes.
Creative Practice - Your Choice
Pick whatever feels most accessible to you today - based on what energy you have, what supplies are handy, or just what calls to you.
🎨 Option 1: Draw Your Experience
Use whatever materials you have to draw the two images from the meditation - how the criticism feels in your body, and the symbol of understanding from your heart. Maybe use different colors, shapes, or textures to show the difference between them. There's no right way to do this.
🖊️ Option 2: Write About What Came Up
Let yourself write about what you noticed during the meditation.
Where did you feel the criticism in your body?
What did those sensations look like as an image?
What symbol came from your heart?
What was it like to experience this voice through your body instead of just your thoughts?
Remember - this isn't about making something beautiful or getting it right. It's about processing what your body showed you about this critical voice so you can understand it better.
Take 10-12 minutes with whichever option you chose.
Journal Practice: What Did You Notice?
Take a moment to look at what you created, or think about what came up during that time.
What surprised you about where you felt the criticism in your body? Maybe you expected it in one place but found it somewhere else. Maybe you realized how much physical tension this voice creates.
What did the images show you that you hadn't noticed before? Sometimes when we see our feelings as pictures, we understand them differently than when they're just thoughts in our heads.
How did it feel to approach this critical voice through your body instead of your mind? Sometimes connecting with our physical experience helps us understand what's really happening underneath the words.
What I hear from people is how much their bodies already know about this critical voice - where it lives, what it feels like, and often what it actually needs. That voice usually isn't trying to be mean. It's worried and trying to protect something that matters deeply to you.
What You Discovered Today
Look what you did today. Instead of just fighting with that critical voice, you got curious about what it feels like in your body. You let your body show you what this criticism actually looks like and where it lives inside you.
You moved beyond just thinking about this voice and discovered what your heart center knows about approaching it with understanding and compassion.
You explored how this critical voice shows up physically, not just mentally - and maybe discovered that your body already knows how to work with it more gently.
Here's something to consider: your kids don't need you to be perfect. They need you to be real. They need someone who shows up, who loves them, who's figuring it out as they go, just like they are.
What if the mom you already are - the one who worries because she cares, the one who tries even when she's tired, the one who loves her kids enough to question whether she's doing it right - what if she's already exactly what your family needs?
Next Week: Session 3: "Touched Out & Tuned Out" - When Your Brain is Screaming for Everything to STOP
That moment when your brain is screaming for everything to just stop for five minutes. We'll get curious about what that experience is really about and explore some ways to honor those needs without guilt.
Something to Take With You
Think about how you might interact with your inner critic differently this week. Maybe it's something kind you could say to this worried part of yourself. Maybe it's a way to acknowledge their concern while still making your own choices.
Write for a few minutes: "One thing I might say to my inner critic when it shows up this week is..."
This could be as simple as "I know you're trying to help, but I've got this" or "Thank you for caring, but I'm going to try something different." Or maybe it's just "I see you, and I understand why you're worried."
Gentle questions to carry with you this week:
What might change if you saw your inner critic as worried rather than mean?
How might you honor your desire to be a good mom without exhausting yourself?
What's one impossible standard you might be willing to question this week?
These are just invitations, not assignments. Take what serves you and leave the rest.
